Day 7: Thankful for Potty Success!

Allan and I were just getting ready to start potty training Natalie when we received her diagnosis. During the initial evaluations a therapist asked if Natalie was potty trained. I looked down and said, "No, it is something that we were getting ready to start and we will be doing that..." She interrupted and said, "Oh, don't worry about potty training now, she is non verbal, it is difficult and she may not be potty trained until 6 or 8 or more. Don't worry."  Is she kidding me? How dare she assume that Natalie can't be potty trained?  I felt so hurt and angry. For some reason, that became a touchy subject for me. In fact, a few days later, a colleague at work who has a child that is 1 month younger than Natalie, and who did not know about Natalie's diagnosis, asked if we had started to potty train yet. I answered No, but started to cry (a lot) right after. You see, at that moment, all I could do was picture Natalie at 8 years old, still wearing a diaper... and it hurt so bad. Since then we have had several other professionals tell us not to worry about potty training and they all seemed to be comfortable with the fact that Natalie may not accomplish this for a long time...Well, I was not comfortable with that, I was not going to accept that.  Please understand that I would never push Natalie to do something she is not ready to do. But I wanted to try. After all, if I had not received the diagnosis, I would have been potty training her anyway, she is still the same child she was before Autism came into our life and I wanted to try.

I decided to wait until she started preschool. I spoke to her teacher about it and she suggested I start after 3 weeks of school in order for Natalie to get adjusted to the school routine first. After 3 weeks, I was ready to begin. The teacher suggested that I take her to the potty every 15 minutes and keep her there for one full minute. She asked me to start over the weekend and she would continue during the week at school. That weekend, we took off the diaper and had Natalie in underwear. At first we had very little success. I would take Natalie to the potty and I would say (in a marching band tune) "Potty!, potty! potty!..." all the way to the bathroom. She would get all excited marching into the bathroom. I would sit her down and I would say (again, in a musical tune) "pee-pee, pee-pee, go, go go!" ......and nothing would happen. So we would leave and set up the timer for another 15 minutes. But guess what? she was going in between the 15 minute intervals and as much as I tried to predict when she would need to go, I could not get it right. As soon as she would start to have an accident, I would scoop her up and run all the way to the toilet and sit her down and say, "Pee pee in the potty" Sometimes I made it in time and she would finish on the toilet and I would cheer and dace and give her a high five and we would do a "potty dance." You see, for Natalie, stickers, toys, candy, none of that works as a reward. Instead, all she wants is recognition, she wants to feel proud and make you feel proud of her. She loves the feeling of accomplishment.  Needless to say that I did a lot of pee pee and poopy cleaning. But by week 2, Natalie had learned a new word, "A-Pee," meaning pee-pee. This was a huge accomplishment and incredibly beneficial! Because I was no longer needing to take her to the bathroom every 15 minutes. Instead, she was running over and grabbing my hand, and saying, "A-Pee, A-Pee." I would take her to the bathroom and she would go every time. Of course she still had some accidents and she had not accomplished the poopy part of it yet. However, every time she pooped on the floor (sorry for the visual) or draw some cool artwork on the walls using poopy finger paint (my apologies again) I would take that poop, we would march to the toilet, we dumped the poop into the water and I would say, "bye-bye poopy!"   So after 6 weeks of training I am happy to report that, for the last week, Natalie has been accident free and she goes, on her own, to the potty and does both #1 & #2, and she even wipes and flushes all on her own!
Thank You for Potty Success!

Day 6: Thankful for Teachers

Yesterday I wrote about be thankful for education and the various educational options. Today I'd like to give a  BIG THANK YOU to teachers.    Teaching is not a profession known for instant gratification and sometimes teachers can feel completely unappreciated...and that's a shame.  After all, teachers shape our children, teach them, inspire them, and lead them along the way of developing as human beings. 

Different kids have different needs and respond to different teaching methods and teachers are ready for anything. They go above and beyond to make sure that our children learn, grow and experience life away from us.  They have so much responsibility and adolescent energy to deal with! I am grateful to Natalie & Austin's teachers, past and present. I am grateful for their thoughtful evaluation and for being our partner in their education.   Their dedication, talents, and support are wonderful. 

Thank you!

Day 5: Thankful for Education

Today I am thankful that we have educational options in this country because school is not one size fits all.  I am so grateful that the school board evaluated Natalie and determined that she needed help and that they were going to provide her with the tools she needed to succeed. Natalie love the day to day routine at her school and she has adapted fairly quickly. She joins in play and socializes with other children. She participates in circle time and other activities throughout the day. She also receives speech therapy twice a week while at school.  Additionally, her teacher supports me and and assists me with Natalie's potty training. We have a great communication system with the teacher and Natalie looks forward to seeing her each day.

America’s public educational system serves all children  regardless of gender, ethnicity, race, religion, handicap, or economic background. This gift, I do not take for granted.

Day 4: Thankful for Supportive Family & Friends

I am so thankful to family and friends for their overwhelming love and support since Natalie's Autism diagnosis. Without all of their positive thoughts and prayers and encouragement, we would never have been able to stay so strong.  The power of love and family is absolutely incredible!

A special thank you to my parents.  

You both make everything we do possible!  Natalie and Austin are so blessed to have two grandparents who love them and support them so much.  You are such a tremendous part of who they are and for that, I am so lucky and so thankful!   Your help during Natalie's initial diagnosis, the ongoing doctors appointments and therapies and preschool, you are both so amazing.  You keep me so strong!!  You are the foundation of who I am as a Mother and there are no words that would ever be able to describe how that makes me feel.  I LOVE YOU BOTH!

To my husband, Allan

you are the most lovable man! Thank you for everything especially for your endless love and support! I can face anything because you are by my side.  I love our family. Life with you is full of happiness and blessings. Thank you so much for doing your best just to make us happy and to support us in all our needs. Thank you my superhero!

Thank you to my son, Austin. 

You are so amazing, so understanding and so loving to your little sister.  I love you  with all of my heart and I am so proud of you!  You are truly incredible and I am so proud to call you my son!  And I am confident that Natalie is proud to call you her big brother. 
Thank you to all of my cousins. You have all shown me so much love. Some of you walked for Natalie's Dream Team, some of you donated to Autism Speaks for Natalie's Dream Team in order to raise awareness and fund more research.  Yet, other cousins took the time to personally call me and talk to me and offer help. I love you all. Thank you for being there, for showing my daughter love and giving me the support I need.
Thank you to special friends, both old and new (you know who you are).  You are my support system!  When I need a hand or a shoulder to lean on, I do not have to even ask...you are already there.  You never think twice and you never ask for anything in return, no matter what your personal sacrifice...you are the most incredible and giving individuals that I am blessed and lucky to know.
Thank you to my brothers, you have both talked to me, encouraged me and supported me and Natalie. Your strength and love have helped me so much. I Love You Both!
Thank you to my brother-in-law and his wife and children. You have all been so wonderful to us. Your prayers, your words of encouragement and the willingness of your children to love Natalie and be there for her, it is priceless and we are so blessed to have you all in our lives. We Love You!
The truth is that this post can go on and on. We are so blessed to have received and continue to receive such outpouring of Love. Your well-wishes have given us courage, your inspiration gives us  strength; your motivation lifts us when we are falling and your prayers never let us hit the ground.  On behalf of Allan, Austin, Natalie and Me I thank you for being there for us.
Whenever you want to know how rich you are, never count your currency, Just try to Drop a Tear and count how many hands reach out to WIPE that, That is true richness.

Day 3: Thankful for Patience

Today I am thankful for patience. This is something that I work on every day.

Natalie is so patient. She waits for so much, and after she waits she probably hopes that we know what she really wants.  Being patient is difficult and one of the hardest things to learn and practice.
Natalie has taught me that every thing takes time and that you have to be patient. I would love for things to happen overnight, but they don't. I have to take a deep breathe and trust,  if it was meant to be, it will happen. If it does not happen then it wasn't meant to be or the timing was not right. I work on this daily. Some days are better than others. And just when I need a reminder, Natalie will show me a sign that I need to be patient.

My patience is tested each day. After all, I have a teenage boy and a non verbal preschooler. But out of the two, it is Natalie who truly understands what patience is. I can't imagine waiting for doctors or researchers to unlock the magic gene that will allow me to talk. And while she waits so patiently...she does it with a great attitude.
It hurts me to have to watch her wait, when of all people she should be demanding.

When we learn to accept what is, and embrace life in each present moment, our impatience often falls away. 

Day 2: Thankful for Brother

Today I am thankful for my son, Natalie's big brother. Natalie loves Austin. She loves to invade his privacy, get into his room, explore all of his things and redecorate everything. But she especially loves to get into his closet, pick out a T-shirt and pull it down from the hanger. She takes off her clothes and puts on big brother's big T-shirt. She will not go to sleep unless she is wearing one of his shirts. And we all think that it is adorable, and even Austin, can't help but melt when he sees her fall fast asleep while wearing his shirt. 

Natalie at 6 months with 12 year old brother

She loves to get his attention. She likes to act like he is no big deal but when he plays with her and smiles...she is in heaven and it is so obvious. Even though he is 12 years older, she thinks that she is tougher than he is and she loves bossing him around. She jumps on his back and directs him to where he needs to go and what they need to play. 

My hope is that they will be best friends for life.  I want them to have a relationship, separate from mom and dad.  I would love for my kids to have each other to lean on throughout their lives!

Thank you God for my children

Day 1: Thankful for Happiness

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.

Denis Waitley

Today I am thankful for Happiness. Natalie went trick-or-treating with her brother and cousins last night. I was amazed as I watched her. 

My beautiful Snow White

She seems like this helpless little girl. She is smaller than all the other kids and she cannot communicate her wants and needs. Yet, as I observed her, I realized that she is anything but helpless. She is a vibrant, independant and happy as can be little girl. She knows what she wants and she does what it takes to obtain it. 

Natalie skipped alongside her cousins and brother. She made sure to never stay behind. She ran up to the doors and and extended her little arm to present her Halloween basket. When the friendly strangers gave her candy she thanked them by giving the most beautiful smile--a smile of gratefulness, and I was filled with joy. The happiness on my baby's face was priceless, she was full of excitement and loved being outdoors and getting treats as she moved from house to house. When we got home she crashed and went right to sleep. In the morning, she was still smiling. Thank you God...Thank you for happiness