Day 10: Thankful for Progress!

As this week comes to a close, I must say that it has been a very big week for Natalie and progress! I have always had hope, but this week has proven to be miraculous. 

First, on Wednesday. I picked up Natalie from "abuela's" house. When we got home, I started to play with her and I scooped her up in my arms. She had the biggest smile on her face and looked down at me and we stared at each other (love the eye contact, and that alone is a miracle) she then put her hands over my eyes and said, "eyes." I exclaimed, "Yes, Natalie, EYES!" next, she pointed to my nose and asked, "Nose?" (Now, I am yelling for my husband to come quickly). "Yes, Nose!" Lastly, she puts her hand over my mouth and says, "mouth." and I am in awe, "Mouth! Yes!" and guess what? she has done the same thing with my husband, Austin and her dolls and stuffed animals every night since!

On the next day, Thursday, we were playing with her crayons and I started to count them as I was taking them out of the box. When it was time to clean up, Natalie started to put the crayons back into the box and she SAID, "Two, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten." I lost it! I started to cry! I kept questioning myself, "Did she really just say all those numbers? was I imagining the whole thing? will she do it again?" I started to take the crayons out again and counted, she then started to say it again, "Two, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten." It was beautiful! It was amazing and such a blessing!
I have not been able to get her to say the numbers again since Thursday but I am very hopeful and I think she is progressing so well since she started school.
Just 5 months ago, Natalie had no language, no eye contact and was seemingly unable to follow the simplest of commands, like “come here.” Today, she responds to her name, enjoys giving eye contact and is learning and speaking new words.

So I am incredibly grateful and thankful for her progress!

Day 9: Thankful for Weekends!

The best part about weekends is being able to spend the entire day with my husband and my children. I don't get to do very much of that during the week because of work, but on Saturday and Sunday everything is perfect.


It usually starts with me waking up and making pancakes, Pillsbury croissants, bacon and eggs. I accompany that with orange juice and by the time I am halfway done, the family has slowly started to wake up and come downstairs. They can't resist the aroma of yummy breakfast filling the entire house. 

Yummy!

I sit down and I take it all in. I enjoy the sunshine filling the house and my husband and kids sitting at the table enjoying what I just prepared for them. Yes, I am going to enjoy every moment of this weekend. I love my family so much and I am determined to soak every moment with them up and not letting these moments slip away.
Later, we usually go to the park and have Natalie ride the horses. Or we will take her to any local carnival or fair or the mall for the Merry-Go-Round. We try to make it fun for her, and in turn it is fun for all of us.

Here is Natalie (in grey shirt, in front of the two girls) enjoying the small roller coaster.

In the evenings we like to light up the grill and make something delicious!

Family is such an important thing to me and I am grateful for my family and the time that we get to spend together. Being able to spend time with them, getting to know them as they grow older, is such a gift in my life. Nothing can compare to the memories that we have made together and I am thankful for the many more that are still to come.
Happy Thankful Weekend!

Day 8: Thankful for Actions...when the words won’t come

Have you ever been to Hallmark or any card shop but you just can’t find the right card? When you are looking for a card that is not as simple as a 'Happy Birthday' or ‘Merry Christmas’ or perhaps even a crisis or bereavement. You read the words on the cards but none of them seem to express what you want to say. Perhaps that is why they sell blank cards? But sometimes you just can’t think about what to write. Sometimes words just won’t come... and you think to yourself,  If I could only just see the person and give them a hug. Then I could show them I care...when the words won’t come. If this is how I feel as an adult with a vocabulary of thousands of words at my disposal and an understanding of language that allows me to use those words to show meaning, thoughts and emotions, it is no wonder children with limited language and understanding find putting things into words so difficult at times.
Natalie cannot speak. Every now and then, she uses some of her words, "mom" "bye" "gotta go." But mostly the words won't come and so she shows me, through actions, what she wants to say.
If she is hungry, she takes me to the pantry:

She shows me she wants more by outstretching her arms and shows me she likes something by touching it:

She shows me she loves me..even when the words won’t come.

I tell my children all the time that I love them...but I also show them. I tell my husband that I love him, but I also show him, and he shows me as well. And long before we had children, before we even confessed our feelings for each other we had a special moment. Our relationship started with a hug. An embrace that expressed much more than any amount of words.  No words can ever adequately express the feelings and emotions of a first kiss. Almost 16 years later there are still many moments of silent love between my husband and I. When the house is quiet and he sits next to me to rub my back. When I am in a shop and see that gadget or tool he has been eyeing for months and I buy it as a surprise. When we have gone through another day of appointments and stresses and crying...and that smile and hug at the end of the day says more than the inside of any greeting card ever could.

When that smile and the light in the eyes shows love when the words won’t come:

So please share a hug, send flowers, smile and laugh together, praise someone, listen, spend time with people and show them you care. Because actions really do speak louder than words. I know my children love me. Even though Natalie is non verbal it doesn't matter because she shows me…even when the words won’t come.

Day 7: Thankful for Potty Success!

Allan and I were just getting ready to start potty training Natalie when we received her diagnosis. During the initial evaluations a therapist asked if Natalie was potty trained. I looked down and said, "No, it is something that we were getting ready to start and we will be doing that..." She interrupted and said, "Oh, don't worry about potty training now, she is non verbal, it is difficult and she may not be potty trained until 6 or 8 or more. Don't worry."  Is she kidding me? How dare she assume that Natalie can't be potty trained?  I felt so hurt and angry. For some reason, that became a touchy subject for me. In fact, a few days later, a colleague at work who has a child that is 1 month younger than Natalie, and who did not know about Natalie's diagnosis, asked if we had started to potty train yet. I answered No, but started to cry (a lot) right after. You see, at that moment, all I could do was picture Natalie at 8 years old, still wearing a diaper... and it hurt so bad. Since then we have had several other professionals tell us not to worry about potty training and they all seemed to be comfortable with the fact that Natalie may not accomplish this for a long time...Well, I was not comfortable with that, I was not going to accept that.  Please understand that I would never push Natalie to do something she is not ready to do. But I wanted to try. After all, if I had not received the diagnosis, I would have been potty training her anyway, she is still the same child she was before Autism came into our life and I wanted to try.

I decided to wait until she started preschool. I spoke to her teacher about it and she suggested I start after 3 weeks of school in order for Natalie to get adjusted to the school routine first. After 3 weeks, I was ready to begin. The teacher suggested that I take her to the potty every 15 minutes and keep her there for one full minute. She asked me to start over the weekend and she would continue during the week at school. That weekend, we took off the diaper and had Natalie in underwear. At first we had very little success. I would take Natalie to the potty and I would say (in a marching band tune) "Potty!, potty! potty!..." all the way to the bathroom. She would get all excited marching into the bathroom. I would sit her down and I would say (again, in a musical tune) "pee-pee, pee-pee, go, go go!" ......and nothing would happen. So we would leave and set up the timer for another 15 minutes. But guess what? she was going in between the 15 minute intervals and as much as I tried to predict when she would need to go, I could not get it right. As soon as she would start to have an accident, I would scoop her up and run all the way to the toilet and sit her down and say, "Pee pee in the potty" Sometimes I made it in time and she would finish on the toilet and I would cheer and dace and give her a high five and we would do a "potty dance." You see, for Natalie, stickers, toys, candy, none of that works as a reward. Instead, all she wants is recognition, she wants to feel proud and make you feel proud of her. She loves the feeling of accomplishment.  Needless to say that I did a lot of pee pee and poopy cleaning. But by week 2, Natalie had learned a new word, "A-Pee," meaning pee-pee. This was a huge accomplishment and incredibly beneficial! Because I was no longer needing to take her to the bathroom every 15 minutes. Instead, she was running over and grabbing my hand, and saying, "A-Pee, A-Pee." I would take her to the bathroom and she would go every time. Of course she still had some accidents and she had not accomplished the poopy part of it yet. However, every time she pooped on the floor (sorry for the visual) or draw some cool artwork on the walls using poopy finger paint (my apologies again) I would take that poop, we would march to the toilet, we dumped the poop into the water and I would say, "bye-bye poopy!"   So after 6 weeks of training I am happy to report that, for the last week, Natalie has been accident free and she goes, on her own, to the potty and does both #1 & #2, and she even wipes and flushes all on her own!
Thank You for Potty Success!

Day 6: Thankful for Teachers

Yesterday I wrote about be thankful for education and the various educational options. Today I'd like to give a  BIG THANK YOU to teachers.    Teaching is not a profession known for instant gratification and sometimes teachers can feel completely unappreciated...and that's a shame.  After all, teachers shape our children, teach them, inspire them, and lead them along the way of developing as human beings. 

Different kids have different needs and respond to different teaching methods and teachers are ready for anything. They go above and beyond to make sure that our children learn, grow and experience life away from us.  They have so much responsibility and adolescent energy to deal with! I am grateful to Natalie & Austin's teachers, past and present. I am grateful for their thoughtful evaluation and for being our partner in their education.   Their dedication, talents, and support are wonderful. 

Thank you!

Day 5: Thankful for Education

Today I am thankful that we have educational options in this country because school is not one size fits all.  I am so grateful that the school board evaluated Natalie and determined that she needed help and that they were going to provide her with the tools she needed to succeed. Natalie love the day to day routine at her school and she has adapted fairly quickly. She joins in play and socializes with other children. She participates in circle time and other activities throughout the day. She also receives speech therapy twice a week while at school.  Additionally, her teacher supports me and and assists me with Natalie's potty training. We have a great communication system with the teacher and Natalie looks forward to seeing her each day.

America’s public educational system serves all children  regardless of gender, ethnicity, race, religion, handicap, or economic background. This gift, I do not take for granted.

Day 4: Thankful for Supportive Family & Friends

I am so thankful to family and friends for their overwhelming love and support since Natalie's Autism diagnosis. Without all of their positive thoughts and prayers and encouragement, we would never have been able to stay so strong.  The power of love and family is absolutely incredible!

A special thank you to my parents.  

You both make everything we do possible!  Natalie and Austin are so blessed to have two grandparents who love them and support them so much.  You are such a tremendous part of who they are and for that, I am so lucky and so thankful!   Your help during Natalie's initial diagnosis, the ongoing doctors appointments and therapies and preschool, you are both so amazing.  You keep me so strong!!  You are the foundation of who I am as a Mother and there are no words that would ever be able to describe how that makes me feel.  I LOVE YOU BOTH!

To my husband, Allan

you are the most lovable man! Thank you for everything especially for your endless love and support! I can face anything because you are by my side.  I love our family. Life with you is full of happiness and blessings. Thank you so much for doing your best just to make us happy and to support us in all our needs. Thank you my superhero!

Thank you to my son, Austin. 

You are so amazing, so understanding and so loving to your little sister.  I love you  with all of my heart and I am so proud of you!  You are truly incredible and I am so proud to call you my son!  And I am confident that Natalie is proud to call you her big brother. 
Thank you to all of my cousins. You have all shown me so much love. Some of you walked for Natalie's Dream Team, some of you donated to Autism Speaks for Natalie's Dream Team in order to raise awareness and fund more research.  Yet, other cousins took the time to personally call me and talk to me and offer help. I love you all. Thank you for being there, for showing my daughter love and giving me the support I need.
Thank you to special friends, both old and new (you know who you are).  You are my support system!  When I need a hand or a shoulder to lean on, I do not have to even ask...you are already there.  You never think twice and you never ask for anything in return, no matter what your personal sacrifice...you are the most incredible and giving individuals that I am blessed and lucky to know.
Thank you to my brothers, you have both talked to me, encouraged me and supported me and Natalie. Your strength and love have helped me so much. I Love You Both!
Thank you to my brother-in-law and his wife and children. You have all been so wonderful to us. Your prayers, your words of encouragement and the willingness of your children to love Natalie and be there for her, it is priceless and we are so blessed to have you all in our lives. We Love You!
The truth is that this post can go on and on. We are so blessed to have received and continue to receive such outpouring of Love. Your well-wishes have given us courage, your inspiration gives us  strength; your motivation lifts us when we are falling and your prayers never let us hit the ground.  On behalf of Allan, Austin, Natalie and Me I thank you for being there for us.
Whenever you want to know how rich you are, never count your currency, Just try to Drop a Tear and count how many hands reach out to WIPE that, That is true richness.