My Smart Cookie

Hello everyone, I have been a little absent from blogging lately. I apologize for that. It has been crazy at home and work. But I did blog a couple of weeks ago about Natalie being our every day miracle and I am so happy to report that Natalie continues to amaze us every day.  I wanted to share one of these amazing things that occurred last week.
Natalie loves Nestle Crunch Bars. So last week I purchased one for her. When I opened it I stared at the letters imprinted on the bar. I decided to use this as a learning tool and cut up the bar by dividing the letters. 

I thought that I would give each letter to Natalie one-by-one and teach her what the different letters were.
I thought that I would be teaching Natalie something new and fun. But, once more, my daughter would be the one to amaze me.  I handed Natalie the first letter, and noticed that she was examining it and not eating it. She looked up at me and we smiled to each other. But before I could say the letter she exclaimed, "C!"  I was stopped in my tracks. I think time actually paused for a moment. You have to understand how off guard this caught me. She RECOGNIZED the letter and she SAID the letter! After eating it, I gave her the next letter and, again, she yelled, "R!" next "U!" Next the N. But this one she did not say. So I said it for her, "N." But when I gave her the next C she said "C" and then the final letter....Yes! she said "H!" I was so excited! She actually recognized and said all these letters:  C-R-U-C-H
I honestly do not know how she does it. She simply amazes me. Watching my daughter deal with her struggles associated with Autism and being non verbal, old and new, is truly inspiring.
It was one of those days where you look back on it and say...wow...it was a great day.  Thank you God.
Here is one quote and one poem that truly captures my feelings and I wanted to share with you today.... Living with silence teaches a great deal. When you cannot speak, you learn to share more from the heart. Instead of giving words, you give love -Author unknown

A Special Child
by Sharon Harris

You weren't like other children,
And God was well aware,
You'd need a caring family,
With love enough to share.
And so He sent you to us,
And much to our surprise,
You haven't been a challenge,
But a blessing in disguise.
Your winning smiles and laughter,
The pleasures you impart,
Far outweigh your special needs,
And melt the coldest heart.
We're proud that we've been chosen,
To help you learn and grow,
The job that you have brought us,
Is more than you can know.
A precious gift from Heaven,
A treasure from above,
A child who's taught us many things,
But most of all- "Real Love"

Fear

Yesterday was a therapy day. Natalie had both behavioral and speech/language therapy. Therapy days are usually awful. I have to witness Natalie cry, and get upset. It usually leads to a meltdown. And all I can do is cry and feel hopeless...and then...the fears creep in. I start to think about Natalie's future and a hundred "what if's" come into mind. Then, my B I G G E S T   F E A R....What if Natalie never learns to speak?  I get so mad at myself. Why do I allow these fears to take over me, to take over my thoughts? I know that God is with me. I know that God is with Natalie. I know that with God ALL things are possible. I know that fear comes from the devil. But these fears just sneak up on me and suddenly they are there--in my heart (my heart is racing and I can hear the thumping in my ears!) and in my thoughts. 

They catch me offguard. It's always going to be a struggle for me. Fear is such a strong emotion.

Fear is a lifelong battle, but God is our lifelong Protector

May God help me to be a FIGHTER who fights for the Lord with the weapon of his WORD!

I See the light!

Today Natalie was evaluated by the school board. They had a speech pathologist and psychologist perform the evaluation. She also had to have ANOTHER hearing test done--even though she has already had 2 done previously. Please note that these hearing tests are a nightmare. Natalie seriously dislikes them and it is nearly impossible to get through it and everything goes downhill after that. To add to my stress, my husband was unable to join us and I was so nervous. I hardly slept, I was scared and I didn't know how I would be able to get through a 2.5 hour evaluation that included a hearing test. So last night and this morning, I prayed--A LOT! I prayed--DEEPLY.  

Natalie and I woke up and we had a good breakfast, I got her ready, put her in the car seat and off we went....Have you ever felt God's presence? Well, I felt it on that drive to the school board.  I truly felt God right there with me, giving me strength, reassuring me and I felt his warm smile upon me, letting me know that he was taking care of things...and you know what? I felt 100% better, I felt strength in knowing he was there and he was listening and he was going to deal with my concerns, my worries and that he was taking care of us.  

So guess what? God took care of everything! Natalie took the hearing test and she was so compliant, she was wonderful! They were able to give her a much more thorough exam and they took their time and I was told that she passed and her hearing is perfect. I was flabbergasted! and then I whispered, "Thank you Lord." Next, the evaluation. This team of ladies could not have been more wonderful! They were so sweet, so caring! I felt like they loved and cared for Natalie as much as I do. I wish they would have been the ones that first broke the news of Autism to me. They were so sensitive and positive. They told me that it wasen't my fault, they told me that Autism is not a death sentance, they said that I was doing everything right and that I was doing everything that they would do if Natalie was their daughter. They hugged me, they smiled, they were incredible, so again, I said, "Thank you Lord." 

We have to retun on September 16th for the results. But these ladies went ahead and told me that Natalie qualifies for Full time preschool and therapy as of September 17th. They will also provide door to door transportation. 

"Thank you God!" 

So I am happy, I see a light at the end of this tunnel. I see hope and I am so thankful to God because with him ALL things are possible and he does listen and he is there. 

    Dearest God Our Father, I love You! I adore You and I Thank You!

From the bottom of my heart: Thank You

I just wanted to take this opportunity to thank you for your prayers, your hugs, wonderful comments, phone calls and all the love & support you have shown me and my family. It is because of God and the wonderful support we get from so many that we continue to grow stronger and stronger each day. It truly does mean a lot.  I have been so humbled by your compassion and it is truly incredible how many people have shared their own stories of how they have been affected by Autism.  That just goes to show that Autism is much more common than a lot of people think. I hope that, soon, the stigma attached to this will go away.

Once again, Thank You. All of You.