Passion and Love Can Bring Out The Voice

We all have particular dreams and aspirations for our children when they are born. When a child is diagnosed with autism, those hopes and dreams undergo major changes. Over this past year, I have had to come to terms with what to expect for my daughter, but there are some things that remain constant. My daughter wants to communicate, she wants to belong, she wants friendships. As her mother, it's my job to help her, but it is difficult to watch her struggle.
While many people know that autism exists, they can't identify it in another person. My daughter looks like any other girl her age—and she is so beautiful. People are taken aback by her lack of communication. Strangers that meet her are always asking her questions and are always talking to her. When Natalie does not respond to them, they think that she is being rude or she is trying to purposely ignore them. I can see these small things become giant obstacles for her as she gets older and tries to make friends.
While some people are understanding and accepting, many people are not. Many people believe that children and adults with autism don't have feelings, but this couldn't be further from the truth. My daughter definitely has feelings and they get hurt easily. She just doesn't express her emotions in the same way that you or I might. The sad truth is that society views autism as a disability. It is true that  people with autism have challenges, but  isn't this true of everyone, whether they have a disability or not? My daughter is still the same beautiful, amazing, loving child she was before the diagnosis.

I have spent hours surfing the internet, seeking new treatments. There are many new and unproven programs that promise miraculous results.  

There are many approaches out there, and my purpose here is not to debate which is “right” or “wrong”. It's just that it takes a long time for an approach to accumulate enough research to be proven as “evidence-based”, and I can’t afford to wait.

As an autism mommy, I tend to follow my intuition. I may not be an expert on autism, yet, but I am an expert on my child. What works for one  may not work for another.
So recently I have followed my intuition and knowing that Natalie has a special love for horses, After some research I found Equus for Humanity, a horse ranch  that provides equine assisted therapeutic activities. I cannot tell you how much Natalie has loved doing these therapies. They combine speech, physical and occupational therapy and use the horse to get the results they want from my daughter. Her daddy and I were in disbelief last week when Natalie gave "Chocolate Chip"  a command, a two-word sentence that I had never, ever heard her say before. She wanted Chocolate Chip to walk, but the horse won't walk unless given the proper command. At first, I saw Natalie struggle to form the words with her mouth, I was so impressed because I could read her lips clearly, and then, she did it! she said out loud, "Walk On" and the horse started to trot along.

Natalie & Chocolate Chip

  The doctor that works with Natalie turned to us with a big smile and a thumbs up and the tears  welled up in my eyes.  Natalie totally gets it, she knows that in order to have the horse do what she wants, she must give the verbal commands. I could not be more pleased and I am so happy to use her passion for horses in order to bring out her voice.
If you are interested in reading more about therapy with horses, you can access the website for Equus for Humanity here or follow their Facebook page here

My Smart Cookie

Hello everyone, I have been a little absent from blogging lately. I apologize for that. It has been crazy at home and work. But I did blog a couple of weeks ago about Natalie being our every day miracle and I am so happy to report that Natalie continues to amaze us every day.  I wanted to share one of these amazing things that occurred last week.
Natalie loves Nestle Crunch Bars. So last week I purchased one for her. When I opened it I stared at the letters imprinted on the bar. I decided to use this as a learning tool and cut up the bar by dividing the letters. 

I thought that I would give each letter to Natalie one-by-one and teach her what the different letters were.
I thought that I would be teaching Natalie something new and fun. But, once more, my daughter would be the one to amaze me.  I handed Natalie the first letter, and noticed that she was examining it and not eating it. She looked up at me and we smiled to each other. But before I could say the letter she exclaimed, "C!"  I was stopped in my tracks. I think time actually paused for a moment. You have to understand how off guard this caught me. She RECOGNIZED the letter and she SAID the letter! After eating it, I gave her the next letter and, again, she yelled, "R!" next "U!" Next the N. But this one she did not say. So I said it for her, "N." But when I gave her the next C she said "C" and then the final letter....Yes! she said "H!" I was so excited! She actually recognized and said all these letters:  C-R-U-C-H
I honestly do not know how she does it. She simply amazes me. Watching my daughter deal with her struggles associated with Autism and being non verbal, old and new, is truly inspiring.
It was one of those days where you look back on it and say...wow...it was a great day.  Thank you God.
Here is one quote and one poem that truly captures my feelings and I wanted to share with you today.... Living with silence teaches a great deal. When you cannot speak, you learn to share more from the heart. Instead of giving words, you give love -Author unknown

A Special Child
by Sharon Harris

You weren't like other children,
And God was well aware,
You'd need a caring family,
With love enough to share.
And so He sent you to us,
And much to our surprise,
You haven't been a challenge,
But a blessing in disguise.
Your winning smiles and laughter,
The pleasures you impart,
Far outweigh your special needs,
And melt the coldest heart.
We're proud that we've been chosen,
To help you learn and grow,
The job that you have brought us,
Is more than you can know.
A precious gift from Heaven,
A treasure from above,
A child who's taught us many things,
But most of all- "Real Love"

Happy Birthday Natalie!

Last night I went to sleep the mother of a two year-old. This morning I woke up the mother of a three year-old. Your name means "Christmas Day" and you are surely a gift from God. Happy Birthday Natalie!  You are my heart and soul. I want to tell you how much I love you. But trust me, no words would be good enough to express just how much you mean to me and how much you are loved.

I look at you each night and watch the little outside corners of your mouth turned down, as they did when you were an infant. Your sweet rosy cheeks and those beautiful long lashes look just the way they did when you would sleep in my arms back in those early months. I miss those beautiful days. Our whole world was in our little home, just you and me. Dad would go to work and big brother would head off to middle school, and the two of us would sit quietly and study each other. I thought that I was only studying you, but now I realize you were studying me, too. It was in those days that we began our mother/daughter relationship, our bond. I learned all your facial expressions, every wrinkle and those dimples! I watched your eyes come into focus, your mouth start to make sweet little sounds, and watched as your ears learned to listen {sign} I took it all in. I waited for your first word, I wanted to know what your voice would sound like, to better understand your thoughts and feelings.  But I also relished in the quiet peace of just you and me. You make life so beautiful and full and complete.There is so much I admire about you. Growing up with challenges of communication and the inability to say all that you want or need to say is not an easy task, so I respect and admire your deep desire to fight hard every day, to try to say what you mean and for using your best tool: self-motivation. I’m not sure I’d find the strength that you display each day as you work to become a more able person. I can only admire your greatness. 

Thank you for being my daughter and for reminding me what life is all about, for helping me stop and enjoy all the moments.  I love you more than I could ever put into words and I am thankful for the miracle of you in my life.

Happy 3rd Birthday my sweet girl.

 You make me whole in so many ways.

With Love,

Mom