Yesterday was a therapy day. Natalie had both behavioral and speech/language therapy. Therapy days are usually awful. I have to witness Natalie cry, and get upset. It usually leads to a meltdown. And all I can do is cry and feel hopeless...and then...the fears creep in. I start to think about Natalie's future and a hundred "what if's" come into mind. Then, my B I G G E S T F E A R....What if Natalie never learns to speak? I get so mad at myself. Why do I allow these fears to take over me, to take over my thoughts? I know that God is with me. I know that God is with Natalie. I know that with God ALL things are possible. I know that fear comes from the devil. But these fears just sneak up on me and suddenly they are there--in my heart (my heart is racing and I can hear the thumping in my ears!) and in my thoughts.
They catch me offguard. It's always going to be a struggle for me. Fear is such a strong emotion.
Fear is a lifelong battle, but God is our lifelong Protector
May God help me to be a FIGHTER who fights for the Lord with the weapon of his WORD!
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